by Ron Wiggins
Alice Solomon, 55 and change, is Gorgeous Grandma. She has a Web site: www.gorgeousgrandma. com.
She has a bifurcated mission: 1. Sign you on as a GG if you're over 50, female and ready for some attitude adjustment. 2. Find the love of your life within a year.
You say you haven't begotten children who have begotten children? Incidental. A mere technicality. You're not gorgeous? Oh, yes you are. Or you will be if you hold still and listen.
When I got a heads up that Gorgeous Grandma will co-host something called The Seniors Dating Game in West Palm Beach on Feb. 13, I had no idea what a Gorgeous Grandma was. A drive to Delray Beach fixed that.
Solomon, a Bostonian transplant, found herself divorced after 25 years of marriage, with a belatedly earned art-history degree that was worth in round terms: nothing.
"I spent a year trying to get a job -- anything," she said, adding a thought that I'd heard before: "These 25- and 30-year-old personnel managers have a way of looking through you as if you aren't there." The old cloak of invisibility.
"I am intelligent, reliable, sensible and not bad looking.... If you are over 50, you are not wanted." Solomon finally landed a job and thrived: cosmetics manager at a large department store.
"I met more women than I ever had met in my life." Many were unhappy, still grieving for a failed marriage, fearful and unwilling to look for another companion. Solomon, too, dealt with relearning the mating game." The rules aren't the same after 25 or 30 years," she said wryly.
Almost by default, Solomon found herself a life coach to newly single women. Cosmetic advice evolved to dating advice, and she quickly got a following among the store's mature clientele. She started a newsletter and mailed it out to about 500 clients. She sent sample advice columns to small newspapers and within two years was regionally syndicated with a combined readership of 150,000.
The column soon evolved to her Gorgeous Grandma Web site. "The name is a bit outrageous, but it gets attention and establishes an attitude. My goal is to empower women to fulfillment. So many older women are unfulfilled and want direction." Some want love.
Solomon is convinced that she can put virtually every receptive woman on a one-year path to romantic fulfillment. Her Web site pep talks and public lectures reflect the theme of her forthcoming book: Find the Love of Your Life After Fifty.
The best way, she said, is to be fixed up by a friend, which is what she did and highly recommends. "Even if you're fixed up, you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince."
Solomon, now happily POSSLQ'd (Persons of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters), had to kiss the same frog many times to achieve the transformation. "He made a terrible first impression. We met at golf. He ignored me on the putting green and fell in love by the 14th hole. Later, at dinner, he ordered first and didn't open doors." She refused further dates until he could learn some conventional courtesies and then act like he meant them. He did and they're happy.
And now, a crash course in finding love after 50. "Go to where the men are. I recommend Web dating -- www.match.com is good. I have a dating link on www.gorgeousgrandma.com."
Put an ad in the paper explaining your adorability and interests and let the frog kiss-a-thon begin. "You will meet some characters. Make sure the first date is under one hour. Meet for coffee, and if you aren't interested, simply say with a smile, 'I'm glad we could meet. It's been nice talking to you.' If you need to more firmly disengage, try a white lie. "Look, I met somebody I'm interested in, but I didn't want to break a date. Thank you.
"Take a course, join a ski club, browse the bookstores, don't be afraid to drink a ginger ale at a bar. Walk your dog.
Talk to a man walking his dog. At a cafe, ask for help on a crossword. Look into a volunteer vacation. If you spend two weeks rebuilding a Mexican school shattered by an earthquake, you're going to meet some good-hearted people. Join an archeological dig.
"I can't say this too many times: Go where the men are. Go to a boat show, a car show, a golf or tennis clinic. Learn to flirt.
Solomon has a chapter in her book on flirting, but why wait six months for her book to appear when there already are entire books dedicated to flirting? She recommends three: The Fine Art of Flirting by Joyce Jillson; The Smart Guide to Flirting by Susan Rabin; and Rabin's 101 Ways to Flirt.
You will, Solomon promises, have to take risks and face rejection. And to the extent that the universe is fair, isn't that what the men had to deal with when you were 20 and still deciding how big a stick to use to beat them back?
So deal with the fear, and if you're free the day before Valentine's, visit Gorgeous Grandma at the Senior Dating Game and learn her 11 Secrets for Achieving Adorability.
ron_wiggins@pbpost.com Copyright © 2003, The Palm Beach Post. All rights reserved. |
goldcoastwebdesign.com